Pregnancy: It was the best of times… it was the worst of times

Isaac waving hello in utero

Every woman who goes through pregnancy goes through it themselves. Every pregnancy is unique. Everyone is different after all. This was my experience… some of it may be familiar… none of it may be and that’s perfectly normal.

I found out I was pregnant the Thursday after our wedding on the Saturday. Took the test and saw the faintest of line… wasn’t convinced. Derek said he could see it too but we weren’t sure. Took another one on the Friday… still faint. So still being on holiday we went shopping where I picked up a digital test. Took it on the Saturday morning… a week after sipping bucks fizz and there it was ‘Pregnant… 1-2weeks’. AAAAARGH now what?!!

I was lucky in that the first trimester I had it pretty easy in comparison to some. I was sore and tired but only nauseous if I didn’t eat regularly enough and never sick. The biggest headache was keeping it secret til our first scan. My mum and dad knew but that was it. Our first scan was booked in for the 23rd December. The last working day before Christmas so I had to navigate the festive period and numerous parties without a beverage. I was on antibiotics, driving early the next day and having to get home for a dish washer delivery (that one was true actually). Obviously there was some suspicion. The 12 week scan arrived and all was good… was actually too early at around 10weeks. My brother was told at Christmas and then we told Derek’s mum and brother before we announced it to all.

The rest of the pregnancy progressed well with puking a lot in the 3rd trimester due to heartburn and sciatica getting the better of me when I had spent to much time on my feet. My work colleagues helped massively by taking stress inducers away where possible, giving some lovely gifts before I finished for mat leave and I had the amazing aqua natal yoga that helped with my aches. Only one scary moment where I hadn’t felt Squish (Isaacs in utero name as we didn’t find out what we were having before he arrived) move as much as usual but turned out he was just trolling me. He then kept me waiting 2 weeks before he had his eviction notice served (there will be a post about this at some point in the future).

All in all it was a pretty positive experience but, there is always a but, it was also one of the loneliest and scariest periods of my life.

We were the first of our friends to be pregnant and, you know something, we really found out who our friends were during pregnancy and becoming parents. I felt isolated for majority, plans that were made were never ideal for me in my pregnant and sore state. There was no baby shower or just hanging out or going for afternoon tea. No girly chats about it all. No excitement outside us and a few others. The majority of our ‘friends’ didn’t really care. When he arrived there was even less from them. So I was done with them. Ignore me – fine. Ignore my family…. I will go mama bear. In the end its still positive though as we now have friendships that we know will last a lifetime and Isaac will have the people who truly care around him.

Then there were the bump comments… people can I just say this now… DO NOT COMMENT ON HOW BIG OR SMALL A WOMANS BUMP IS! I never realised this til I was pregnant – how your body and bump suddenly becomes everyones business. Its not. ‘oh your huge’ or ‘are you sure theres only one?’ are not compliments. ‘such a cute wee bump’ or ‘little bump’ aren’t either. No instead they cause all sorts of anxiety. Am I too big? Are they not growing properly? How am I going to push out this massive child? etc etc. Yeah I had both a huge bump and a small bump apparently so can imagine how confusing that was for me already trying to get to grips with a new shape! I get youre excited but don’t comment on size. Say ‘youre looking well’ or ask ‘how are you doing?’ Hormones be crazy… don’t add to that.

Lastly I revert back to my opening remarks. Do not question a pregnant woman’s symptoms or feelings. Just because you or your friend or your friend’s friend didn’t feel that or have that doesn’t mean that pregnant woman shouldn’t. Again hormones be cray cray… don’t add extra worry by questioning something that isn’t happening to you! I lost count the number of times a friend (who had never been pregnant for a start) questioned my symptoms because her friend ‘didn’t have that when she was pregnant’ or her other friend ‘was sick all the time so isn’t strange your not’. NO because EVERY PREGNANCY IS DIFFERENT AND EVERY WOMAN IS DIFFERENT!! but thanks for adding to the anxiety.

TL:DR pregnancy mostly positive but also a bit rubbish due to people not thinking.

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