As per my previous post I never had a smooth start to motherhood. The time immediately after was going to be crucial. Unfortunately, I was stuck on hospital until the Friday and parts of that were not great…
Isaac arrived at 15:39 on the Wednesday. I was exhausted and hungry. A cup of tea and toast was delivered to the room and OMG… best cuppa and toast ever!! My midwife had went on a break and had someone new in covering while we ate. Cooing over Isaac phonecalls and messages and pictures. There was a knock a the door. ‘Anything for dinner?’ Midwife, without asking, went ‘just had tea and toast so we’re fine’… erm how about asking me?!! I mean the tea and toast were lush but I hadn’t eaten in about 15hrs at that point! I could’ve eaten a 3 course meal and still be hungry. I should’ve known that wasn’t the end of it.
I was told I’d have to stay in overnight because I’d had an infection and needed the antibiotics before. Ok no problem. My midwife had come back but was nearing the end of her shift so she brought her relief who told me to go get a shower and if I managed to pee I could get the cannula in my hand out before going up to the ward. Did that and then we headed up to the ward.
The ward… I have spent a lot of time in hospital when I was younger. I have never been able to sleep in a ward . This was going to be rough. Got a corner bed again though. Derek wasn’t allowed to stay with me again overnight so wasn’t looking forward to my first night alone with a brand new baby. Isaac had been trying to feed but we’d identified a tongue tie so he kept slipping off. And it was painful! The midwife on the ward came to give me more antibiotics ‘where is your cannula?!’ so needed another one put into my other hand. Trying to sort out a baby with one of them in your hand is not easy. We flagged about Isaacs tongue tie, the specialist was apparently in the hospital this week so that was fortunate. Changed nappies and said goodbye to daddy and granny. I was on my own. Night shift started. I had two lovely midwives Megan and Heather who did regular check ups and saved my sanity… more on that shortly.
Next morning came… I’d survived the night. The day midwife was back. She’d told me I’d be out after 24hrs from birth had passed. Ace I’ll be home for dinner. They asked if I wanted a demo on bathing baby. I didn’t because I’d seen demos before and I had my mum on hand too. Derek and my mum and now my dad came in as soon as visiting was allowed. Cuddles, photos and presents. Isaac was a dream. He kept trying to feed so I would whip out a boob whenever he started looking. Then the nursery nurse arrived asking to take him for his check over… I was feeding him at the time (or trying to). Finished up and off we went. ‘If you’re trying to feed you should press the buzzer!’ ‘nobody told me to do that and I had my mum there for help’. Day 1 and I’m already getting told off for not mothering right!
Isaac gets his check up, specialist confirms tongue tie and says she can snip it early afternoon if that’s what we want ‘ yes definitely because I want to breastfeed and its not working as is at the moment’.
Got back to my bed Isaac peed all over the bed, including pillows, asked for a change and as I’d finished my course of antibiotics to get my cannula out ‘sure I’ll be over shortly’.
Snooty nursery nurse appeared back to take Isaac down for his TT snip. That went well. Specialist advised he’d probably be a bit sleepy for a while. No worries.
Got back to my bed. Still had pee on my pillows and cannula in my hand. More requests. My mum had went to ask when I’d be getting out today. The midwife appeared back at my bed a while later (now way past the 24hrs I’d been promised). When can I go home as Id be much more relaxed and stuff there? ‘you cant go home til we’re happy with his feeding’ (it still wasn’t right at this point as he was sleepy and sore). ‘I wasn’t told any of this… I really think it would be easier at home’ and then the part that sticks with me ‘and what happens if hes not fed by the same time tomorrow… you’d just be back on the phone and in here again anyway?’ So now I was gonna let my child starve if I went home… I broke down. I was exhausted and I just wanted to be at home. I was apparently failing left right and centre. I was sore and struggling as I still had to get my cannula out and I still had pillows covered in pee. Finally my cannula was removed and got new pillows. My mum, dad and Derek had to leave again and my mums parting shot ‘make sure you press that button every single time you give him a feed’
Night shift and Megan and Heather were back. Heather came to see me straight away. ‘So hear you’re a bit emotional and want to go home?’ I broke down in tears again. ‘I just want to be home where I have Derek and my own bed. and can relax. I’m so exhausted and cant sleep here’. Then she asked the important question ‘Are you sure you want to breastfeed? No pressure is it what you want?’ ‘Yes its all I’ve wanted to do but he’s sleepy after his tongue tie… I don’t know if its working’. She then said and I’ll never forget it ‘Ok then tonight we’ll work it out and get him feeding so you can go home’. She offered to take him for some cuddles to let me sleep… I pointed out it wasn’t him that was the problem on the ward… it was all the other babies and mums and she promised she’d be back in a couple of hours. Between her and Megan that night we worked on his latch, I expressed and tried to get my milk in quicker, they never missed a feed. By morning I had completely ditched the pump and he’d got it figured out too.
Day shift were back and nasty midwife was first over to me to say shed heard about the success we’d had and was glad and that I’d get discharged today. Derek and my mum came in… My mum only stayed for a little bit before heading home to sort stuff out for us because she had to head away that evening. It took them til early afternoon to sort out my discharge papers but I was so happy to get out of there and start family life properly.